


Regret and Acceptance.

by EmllyC



Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, April wants Sterling, Canon Lesbian Character, Character Study, F/F, Lesbian April Stevens, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sterling Wesley, Multiple Pov, POV Third Person, Regretful April, Sisters, Stepril Endgame, Twin sisters, Twins, inner thoughts, no kidnapping, stepril - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmllyC/pseuds/EmllyC
Summary: (Takes place with no mom twin. Sterling has not told Blair she is with April. Sterling is full on lesbian)After April walks away from a silently crying Sterling, Sterling tries to comes to terms with what has happened, talks to Luke, makes a discovery about herself, and is picked up by Blair.I was going to make this more than a one shot but didn't really have any material to write with so.
Relationships: April Stevens/Sterling Wesley, Blair Wesley & Sterling Wesley, Stepril - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Regret and Acceptance.

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory "This is my first fic so go easy on me"

(April)

“Maybe someday, though?”  
April tried to make a hopeful face at the other girl, but Sterling was looking away.  
“Maybe,” Sterling replied, and Aprils spirit lifted for a moment. It had taken every ounce of self control to do what she had done that night, flirting with Luke and pretending like she still hated Sterling. She was hopeful that someday, maybe even in the near future, they could be together. A time where her father was gone. 

“Actually... I don’t know.” 

At that, April could tell her own face dropped.  
What had she done? Had she just ruined her future with this girl, a girl she always thought she hated but just recently found out that deep down it was something else? Had she just ruined her chance all because she was scared of her own father?  
No, it was the right thing to do. She needed to do this. She had been at terms with herself for a while now, but her father was a completely different story. If he found out what she was, it would be terrible. He wouldn’t let her be friends with any girls, he would punish and berate her, maybe even send her off to some other worse and more oppressive boarding school. With that, she would never be able to be with Sterling, ever. No matter what. But no matter how she explained this to herself, she couldn't stop regretting it every second. 

April choked on her own words, and she could see the pent up tears starting to stream down Sterlings face.  
Aprils own tears started to well up. 

It took all the might she had, but she was able to say her next words, although they broke both of the girls hearts. 

“Good bye, Sterl,” she said, looking away and standing up so she wouldn’t have to see the look on Sterlings face.  
She walked back towards the door, trying her best to not turn around to take everything back and kiss the girl she left crying on the bench.  
She couldn’t help but take a peak at her before reaching the door.  
She was in a haze, and burst through the doors trying not to let Sterling hear her cry.  
She walked through the hallways, barely noticing Luke looking curious at her and then heading towards the doors. She walked and walked until she found a bathroom with no one in it. She locked the door to make sure no one came in, and then went into a stall, where she burst out with tears and cried.  
She had just done the most difficult thing she had ever had to do. 

(Sterling) 

“Maybe someday, though?” 

Sterling couldn’t look at April. She felt like the world was falling apart around her. She begged desperately to herself that this was all just a Nightmare, and she would wake up and be able to call her girlfriend and make kissing sounds over the phone. 

𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥

She died a little inside at the realization that this beautiful girl, the girl who made her realize so much about herself, the girl that she had kissed in school and her car and a lazer tag arena, could no longer be called that. 

She responded, using all of her might to not crack her voice as she spoke. 

“Maybe.” 

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and the giant weight she felt on her heart. Why was God doing this to her? Was this a punishment for indulging in the temptations that April presented her with? No, it couldn’t be. God let her be this way, so it must be fine. 

She wanted to yell and scream at April. Or maybe not April, just at the world. Yell at the world for letting Mr. Stevens out of Jail. Yell at the world for teasing her with the good heart and beautiful face of April just to rip it away.  
She was angry and sad, and didn’t know how to express it. Before she knew what she was saying, she said it. 

“Actually... I don’t know.” 

She wanted to punish April for doing this to her. She wanted to make April feel the way she was feeling. But she regretted it immediately. 

She could hear April choke.

Sterling knew it was coming, but it still broke her heart to hear it.

“Goodbye, Sterl.” 

She saw out of her peripheral vision that April got up and walked back towards the school. 

Sterling wipes the tears she had just noticed were falling, and tried to wrap her head around what just happened. 

It was over, wasn’t it? 

She didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but she didn’t.  
At one point, she had managed to pull out her phone and barely managed to text Blair to pick her up.  
She wanted nothing more but to leave. Maybe forever. All she wanted to do was forget what had just happened.  
Go far away, somewhere where she wouldn’t have to think of April every second. Somewhere where not everything in the town reminded her of the girl.  
The girl she... the girl.  
Was it her? Did April think she was weird? Stupid? Did April think that them two being together was a mistake?  
That must be it. No way April was scared of her dad, she was April.  
Strong, fierce, stoic, beautiful April. 

It was Sterling. It had to be. She had messed it up.  
Maybe she was pushing too fast? Maybe April was pulled away because Sterling wanted them to be out too soon?  
Her thought process was interrupted by the sound of the school door opening.  
She looked over, praying to God that it was April, back to say it was just a joke. Back to take it all back and change her mind. Just 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬.  
But it wasn’t April, it was sweet ol’ goofy Luke. 

“Hey, um... Sterl I just noticed you were crying. Are you okay?” 

Sterling looked at the boy she had said she loved since the 5th Grade.  
She looked at his tall comforting figure. He was there.  
Was this divine intervention? Was she still meant to be with Luke?  
She remembered in all the TV shows and movies that she had seen, the writers would always try and push the “endgame” couple away from each other. Called it “angst” or whatever. Maybe that’s what it’s like in real life?  
She looked up at Luke again and lied. 

“Yea, I’m fine, just not my night tonight, heh,” 

She attempted a weak smile for the boy.  
She looked again at Luke and tried to come to the decision that he would be the one she would marry.  
She would marry him, have children, and grow old together. At least, that’s what she had been told.  
In the Bible, in school, by her parents. 

But no. This was not her. 

Luke had come up to her, and she stood up to face him. 

They talked for a minute, a conversation that Sterling payed no attention too, when it apparently reached the conclusion that he had been looking for.  
He leaned down to the shorter girl and kissed her.  
She froze, not returning the kiss.  
She had a sudden realization. This kiss, and all the other kisses she had shared with the boy, were nothing like the ones she had shared with April.  
She had always thought she loved Luke, but now she realized she didn’t even know what that meant. She was told by Luke and her parents and the world that she should love him, so she thought she did.  
But no, she didn’t. She never did, not him.  
Not any boy. She couldn't even imagine feeling anything like that to a boy. Anything like the way she felt for April. The feeling she now knew to be what attraction really was.  
She put a hand on Lukes chest and gently pushed him away. 

“I’m sorry Luke... I’m just not... I just... I mean...” 

She stumbled over her own words. She couldn’t tell him what she was. 

“I still need a break luke. I still think that we were only together by sheer chance, not divine will. I still think that we need to move on.” 

Luke looked hurt, and Sterling couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy. She turned the words used on her just a few minutes ago to the boy.  
“Good bye, Luke.”  
She turned away and started to head for the street, not looking back.


End file.
